Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Back to school

I had this strange feeling that i will have nothing to write. As my kids are getting "older" more "mature", I passed from embarrassing mother to annoying mother. Why not?

The truth  is, I m annoyed. After 3 days of school, I feel probably more annoyed then kids.

I feel annoyed that even in the country like Ireland the girls are prohibited to wear short skirts and shorts. Not that I m encouraging it, but as much as I can understand it in India (and still not agree), I don t see the point in Dublin, where people on the street is walking in skirts looking more like a belt to me...I m probably having annoying view, but I feel difficulties to explain to my teens to love their body, respect their body, when the messages they get that there is something very inappropriate with their body...because in the french system we are agains wearing burka in the name of laicity and freedom, but the short is prohibited in the name of respect...of what?  I don t get it.

Daniel, 8 grader, while asking if he is bilingual, answered: "NO, trilingual". For once (can I believe it?), he was answering correctly and politely. The class get hilarious about his answer and he get congratulations how he pulled leg of the teacher...apparently the teacher did not react at all. The fact is that Daniel IS trilingual (hey, Daniel, I m proud of you btw...). Ooops, we can forget very quickly that there are kids much more then trilingual and that in India many people speaks several languages.

This make me more smile, but what annoy me seriously, is the POINT of GOOD BEHAVIOR system in Elie's class ( 5th grade).

" In the class, we have a system to encourage us to respect the rules of 5th grade. If we don t respect the rules, we can have 5,3, or 1 penalty points. At the end of the week, we will be placed in the group of autonomy in function of the number of penalties. More penalties, less rights.". 
(todays note)

Not to be aligned after recess point of penalty.
Not to work quickly in the class, one point of penalty.
Not to move calmly, silently and with utility in the point.
Not to obeyed the adults in the school...5 points.
To be insolent after the remarque of adult...5 points.

In total 26 "anti-rules", where you can get the penalty points. But who says what is insolent, what is quickly, and what is utility? Is not the personal perception that we may have each different?

As much as I want my child to be polite, to respect others, not only adults, but all, including children, I want them to learn and be calm,  also want them free, spontaneous, smiling and happy. I want the school the space where kids have a right to ask, not to agree , express their needs and go with the pleasure and joy instead of fear of punishment.

Now, what to do? Go to see the teacher and ask him from where this is coming? Propose the "positive" reinforcement instead of punishment? Explain to the teacher that he can t really cut the rights of the children ( To be respected and safe, To work, To make mistakes, To eat in peace),  because then he is cutting their fundamental rights? Make my "yoga" talk about positive thinking, about positive affirmation, and positive attitude in the life? About Freedom? Love? Hmmmm....
I don t think it would be appreciated...

So I can shut up and feel bad every morning  because I m sending my son in the school with feeling of fear of punishment (hey, and what if he wants to be in the group with his friend so he will do some punishable stuff to make sure to get points?? And how about the feeling being ALWAYS in the worst group? What it is as feedback? I m BAD all year long?).
Let s face it, it is not about me, it is about Elie and his capacity to face new system and new school, new rules.
But it does not feel far.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Holidays in Spain

Embarrassing mother? No kidding...what did I do today? I just missed the plane of my 3 kids, their friend and my bro flying to Barcelona. How? Easily...just confusing the arrival time in Barcelona with departure time in Prague...
2 cars, full of kids and luggage, golf bags. And 10 mins from airport, my bro watch the flying ticket and said:
" You know that the plane is leaving in 20 minutes, right?"
" No, it is original departure, they changed it." was my answer.

Oh yes, they did. They really changed it. From 10.40am to 10.25 am...and it was 10am and we were not yet at the airoport!

I just screamed: everybody in the cars and we run. Nobody understand nothing at the gas station, 7 people at the same moment just start to run crazy. I started to drive...and forgot that in front of me was side walk. Ok, not the moment to destroy the car or have an accident!
In front of the aeroport it looked like action movie...we parked and I run completely  mad to the departure hall yelling that we have the plane in 10 minutes...of course, nobody was really interested. They told me calmly that there is too many people, the plane can t  wait just for us, so sorry, I have to rebook...

So I went in deep silence and go  to rebook...I was just mentaly praying they have tickets and maybe not too much to pay? Aha...
"Today there is not other plane...let me see...tomorow it is maybe Monday morning...aha, 5 people, it can be problem. And I have to pay 250euro per persone..."

This was the moment my daughter told me: ok, we go for coffee. An she stayed with me.I had terrible unhappy thoughts:
1. I defintiely f@$# this one
2. what I will do now, brining to the sh** not only my kids, but also their friend and my bro, my husband waiting in Barcelona for them...
3. loosing time for their holiday
4. loosing money for stupidity, oh, if I think how many kids would have food or scholarship in India...pathetic, I know.
5. Then I saw we left from gas station with bottle of Red Bull...oh yes, it gives wings, but did not help to fly today. And we did not pay!
6. So I visualise the Evening Break news...Derhy gang stealing wings in the gas station...Kids of french banker robbing...Morality of yoga teacher mom...Uf.
This I call Self beating. Oh yes, I m good in it!

I was watching absently around, sent few sms to informe my dears about the situation with the trumbling hands...and start to evaluate the situation from the "calmer" perspective. Like...if it just happen to my best friend.
Boys went to Mac Do, thanks god for it! Girls went to re-load the luggages in the car, Noemie was buying me a coffee.  I called Tomas Trebizky, amazing travel agent since 8 years now...and he picked up the phone Saturday morning, arranged my new ticket for half price the same day afternoon, send them all on my email, and my great friend Radka printed them out and brought them to the airport exactly at the moment that it was my turn in the queue. My friend Jitka brought home one of two cars and I drove home slowly slowly, to make sure I will not cause any accident as I felt nervously exhausted. It was hard day, for sure, but I was protected by amazing angels-friends. Thank you!

Ah, and I forgot: on the way back I stopped by the gas station and payed for the Red Bull bottle.  Enough Karma for one day!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Room service

After India, the come back to reality of "normal" life is hard. I thought it will be difficult for kids. The sad true is that it is making crazy me.
While picking up the dirty clothes more less in any place where it just "fall" down, I m sending so much love to my wonderful househelpers, because they did xactely this every moprning during 4 years.
When I enter the bathroom, and see all the towels on the floor, I m wondering if the kids EVER red the note in the hotels that if we want to save the water, we keep our towel till next day  HANGED...they consider me as the housekeeping for sure, I just did not se any tip so far!
The last but not least is Room service. They are very fortunate, because in the house of my father it works perfectly, we all have the room service a la carte 24h per day!
Oh, two days back I saw also my mom to do the caddy on the golf course for my son...she loved the walk, but I just hope that it will not become the new habits...

Where we are helping and spoiling our kids by love and where it is just not preparing them for the real life? Ok, let s figure it out in next few months!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Emotional swings of embarrassing mother

All week, we are just going from one celebration or school ceremony to other. Impressive moments...
I have to admit, that by moments I don t know if I feel happy or down. Yesterday it was this "high" feeling as Noemie was awarded, but as soon as we get out of MPH I heard: "Can you pull your t shirt down? "
I did not even know what she means...but then I realize that I m still in my yoga outfit as I just had time to run from my class, bring friend to say good bye to my bro and run back to school...
In the car, my daughter was more specifique: "It is really embarrassing to see you in the middle of moms that are dressed up..." (THEM!).
ok, next.
Coming to the school today, after amazing cofee with my friends and yoga students full of love, after "revolutionary" speech I did in my husband's office, and of course completely exhausted, my daugter just asked me: and where are my SHOES? I brought the dress...but shoes??? Where are they, actually? And why they were not prepared the day before?

Then Elie came...and we just figured out that I have to pay 2600rps for his lost books...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, was I not saying one month ago "Let s keep all your books ready to give back to library?". But honestly, what Elie did with Physics for High school????????
Nightmare at the school was not finish yet. We also realized that Elie lost his smart cart, probably the 10th of this year...

At this point of day, Daniel had little chance to be welcome with his NOT filled paper for the bussines ofice for Clearance. At my desperate comment that noboy will do it for him and it is his only abligation (why I m so pathetique???) Daniel answered in some un-polite way...and my hand just somehow landed on his top of head in angry way! Ok, we all have the weak moments, by why after all the yogi breathings and nice theories I get still so out of center???

No comment when I learnt the incredible amount to pay for his lost books...

And no comments on the horrible hour I spent in car to feel it all, angry, guilty, furiouse, sad...observing myself on emotional swing, and still cannot believe it.
The up and down of the day finished on the up, after Graduation ceremony of 8th graders...soooooooooooooo beautiful. At this very moment we know, that it is not about us, about lost books, or smart is about amazing new generation of international kids. And I hope for them they will all become great peacemakers! (Oh yes, today I m fully in the pathos...)

Friday, May 20, 2011

Potato bag

Yesterday i had some urgent sms from my daughter to go for shopping. We did. But why she wanted suddenly to buy the "conservative" clothes...
After some time and with a lot of insistence i get her answer:  "some" people find that she is too provocative (eh hum? my daughter?). So she needs to dress more conservative!
Ah, now I get it. We were actually looking for burka. Of course, in Zara boutique, so it is the modern style burka, some deform clothes hiding all the body, skin and curves. If burka could hurt somebody feelings, let s call it potato bag...
At the first moment I felt like all education about personal freedom, loving our body, be who we are and other blabla were definitely only blabla for my daughter. But then, after one deep breath and short reflexion, I just said:

" Ok, lets go for burka. If it is your choice, it is also your freedom to try to wear what somebody else find better for you. If you feel well, great. If you don t feel well, at least you know!"

When we start with our conditioning? When we start to change the reality from what it is to what we think it should be? When we start to be deaf to our own voice and we listen only to others opinions and truth? When our own insecurities or jalousie start to terrorize others, sometimes in the name of "love" or doing them "good"?
8th grade, for sure, it is done...

The good news, we cannot be prisoner if our heart is free!!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Star for you

Miracles happen every day.  My daughter offered me star from the sky.
 This is how the role get reversed. I still remember when i was trying to sing her "Twinkle twinkle little star..." Probably my first song in English ever.

Yesterday night she came to my little cave (office) and offered me little red star...origami. I opened it without expectation. It was written inside:
 " Je t aime, maman. <3 Noemie "

It was the most beautiful moment of the year. Thank you for offering me your little stars, Noemie my baby!

Monday, April 18, 2011 the past

So today I started my boxes. Everything old and un-usfull to the garbage, the good, the nice, the practical to the box.
Sounds good, but it is not so easy to get rid of memories. I started in my daughter's room...and suddenly we were in the notebooks from her first grade, in the poesy from the forth grade, in the class pictures from we really NEED it? Is is really USUFUL?  It does not look like this, but it looks like important emotional attachment. I was observing her to get in ecstasy reading her assignments and grades and of course, she wanted to keep it all.

From my "yogi" perspective, I was just about to tell her...but when you will read again all this? For what it is important to get all those memories? Why we are moving around the world so many "boxes of our live"?

Then I found picture in the paper frame from Barcelona's aquarium, where we are going religiously every year since the children are born...tree of them, nicely dressed, with combed hair, we are all smiling in the shark head...and I got it.
We keep those beautiful memories to remember how it be grateful and appreciate how it IS.  The way to the future can lead trough the past...