Monday, February 21, 2011

Privacy

So I did this amazing experience with one  friend. She is fervor defender of privacy on line, so no posting pictures of kids from school. No matter that I have entire albums of my kids playing school basketball, from Family fun day, or from Saisa swimming. At the moment I put the picture from school yoga, there is problem. The sad is, that she did not tell it to me. We could talk about. We could have some nice exchange. And I could even do some nice reflexion on Should we share or keep it private?

Somehow it seems to be difficult for some people to act frankly and straight. They claim privacy but actually it is more about secrecy and behind the back. It does not prevent to accurate claim of privacy on the net, but it would have much more impact if done clearly and with conviction. Get publicly FOR privacy.

Now, how it comes that same person claiming privacy on net does not respect privacy in real life? One week ago I realized how she made my private life public...without me knowing it. No problem, I m living public life and I m not hiding crispy details from my last 40 years. I may not to say all, but  I m not lying about my life neither, as I consider that liar need too good memory!

 However it feel weird this contradiction: real life can be gossipily public, but let s protect privacy on the net!

It show me just clear lesson: Live what you preach. Respect in others what you want for yourself. Stand up for your convictions.

And you, where are you ? Standing or hiding?



Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Stress management

So since few weeks I m working on workshop about stress management. Last saturday I decided and announced home that I need calm afternoon to start to write. Somehow my quiet writing time turned out to be true stressed management practice. Daniel came from soccer training with 2 friends, one supposedly staying for sleep over. Noemie invited after her theatre practice 3 friends to make cookies in the afternoon, one staying for sleep over. As I was also expecting friends arriving in the night from Europe, family of 4, and my father is visiting, the house seemed little overcrowded. But at the end we made it: 15 people during the day, 12 for sleep over. YES!

As I was writing all symptoms of stress, I was observing my reaction second day in Waterstone club, when I was trying to handle 2 different cars, 3 languages, and many different desires of ones and the others. The cherry on the cake was Daniel, my 12y old, leaving for the pain- ball with a new driver, his phone switched off, driver answering me he is NOT with my son, and I spent one hour of chasing the trace of my son somewhere in the 20 billions crowded city...Olwyn, not only you amazed me that you are reading this blog, but you also handled all this situation and thanks for Daniel!

So yes, I was at home, Sunday evening,  hysterical, screaming on people, barging on my loved ones, and writing about stress management. Over and over again I reminded myself that I can relax, and I can let the body to have a rest, and I have to step back from the situation and just observe it. And over and over again my hands were cold, my head was screaming, I felt dry mouth, palpitation, restlessness and NO breathing. Breath, girl, breath.

After another stressing Monday (meetings at school), and somehow exhausting night with my daughter sick just the night of her birthday,today I finished my stress management papers , I sent them to the printer, and I opened my email. I had 3 emails from my son insulting me because I dared to take away his computer time and electronics games and asked him to make up his math homework. I found also one more email from math teacher, not the pleasant one. When arrived at school, my vision get impaired, my head was spinning, and the inner feeling was: Did I drunk the bottle of vodka without knowing???

I wanted to handle the situation, I wanted to pretend I m fine, I wanted to make beautiful birthday to my daughter with the 14 white roses I brought for her, and wanted to do gentle stress management workshop with my friends in the evening. And I observed myself, with dizziness, and I felt that it is probably the moment to let go of my projects of perfect day for my great daughter and still greatest family and just surrender to the evidence that I pushed to far, too long, too blind. And I went to the nursery, take a nap, and woke up with my 3 kids watching on me, with my dad, with roses and helping me down of the bed. One took flowers, one took my bad, and one took me, and we went out of the school, in the nice sunny day of Mumbai.
Looks like happy end. But it is not. Elie just continued with demands...of my time, of my phone, of my attention. Others screamed on him to stop it. He screamed on them to let him alone (easy in the car). And I watched it again. Kind of heat coming from the solar plexus to the brain. Sweating. The breath is not shallow, the breath is inexistent. The belly start to feel with little cramp. Stomach is floating like before vomit. Eyes are not able to focus. Chest is becoming heavy and there is kind of pain in the middle while you try to catch the breath. Your ears can not support any noise anymore. You can not support anybody anymore and any new demand anyway...

The first sentence and definition of stress on my papers is:


ANY SITUATION WHICH PUTS EXTRA DEMANDS ON US IS CALLED STRESS.

I feel like the last 3 days, I had my great deal of practice of my teaching. And after all this I confirm: move your body, sleep, watch your diet, whatever books and adds and magazines say. But if there is one thing to do absolutely, it is

BREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH.

And if you feel any sympathy with my writing above, please start to breath RIGHT NOW:):):)


PS: The stress management workshop of tonight...cancelled. I decided to stay home and breath...